New Year, Same You - And That's OK

By Rose Lauren Hughes, Bened Life Neurodiversity & Disability Specialist

Embracing Grace When the World Screams "New Year, New Me"

As the calendar flips to January, the world seems to chant collectively, “New year, new me!” Social media becomes a parade of resolution lists, gym selfies, and ambitious goals to overhaul every aspect of life. For some, this energy is empowering, but for many of us – especially those navigating disabilities, chronic illnesses, or unpredictable life circumstances – it can feel like a slap in the face.

How do you set goals when your days are already packed with medical appointments, family commitments, or the relentless demands of simply existing? How do you keep your sanity when scrolling through social media sparks health envy or frustration? The truth is, a fresh start doesn’t have to mean throwing everything out and starting over. It can be about finding grace, setting realistic goals, and celebrating the fact that you’ve made it this far.

This year, I’m saying “new year, same me.” Here’s how (and why).

Let’s Be Real: New Year, Same Challenges

For many of us with chronic illness, neurodivergence, and general life challenges, January 1st doesn’t magically erase pain, complications, or struggles. The idea of a “factory reset” – waking up without pain, medications, or worries – is a lovely dream, but it’s not reality.

My reality is: 

• January 2nd: early healthcare appointment. 
• Week 2: Two hospital trips, one scan, and one super-invasive test that I'll need to recover from. 
• Week 3: A five-hour round trip on public transport to my key doctor and a bunch of paperwork. 
• Week 4: Follow-ups and calculating how much money I don’t have to meet the crippling medical bills. 

Oh – and physiotherapy three times a week, every week, for intensive prehab for my upcoming surgery. 

Smiles and waves. But hey, that’s my normal… and that’s the real reality. A full year around the sun doesn’t quite change any of that. 

This doesn’t mean we can’t each embrace the new year in our own way. Maybe we celebrate the simple fact that we are seeing another January 1st. For some of us, that alone is a monumental achievement. Survival is success; if you’re here, you’re already winning.

Goals That Fit Your Reality

The societal obsession with reinvention can feel alienating when your life doesn’t allow for sweeping changes. But setting goals doesn’t have to mean striving for the impossible. Instead, think about goals that align with your reality. 

Here are some ideas:

1. Celebrate what you accomplished: Before diving into resolutions for the new year, take a moment to reflect on the past year. What did you achieve despite your challenges? Maybe you advocated for yourself at a tough doctor’s appointment, handled an unexpected crisis, or simply made it through a difficult time. Give yourself credit for those wins.

2. Focus on what you can control: Your goals don’t have to center around your health or circumstances if those areas feel overwhelming. Maybe you want to read more books, start a creative hobby, or organize your space. Goals that bring joy and aren’t tied to external pressures can be a refreshing change.

3. Prepare for the known challenges: If you already know January and February will be packed with medical appointments, insurance calls, or other demands, make that part of your plan. Organize your schedule, prepare your questions, and pat yourself on the back for managing these essential tasks.

4. Find small joys: Instead of chasing big, transformative goals, focus on small, achievable ones. Treat yourself to a new journal, try a simple recipe, or take five minutes each day to meditate or breathe deeply. These little moments can add up to a more positive outlook.

Social Media: A Blessing & A Curse

Scrolling through social media in January can feel like swimming in a sea of comparison and privilege. Everyone seems to be hitting the gym, starting a new diet, or announcing lofty ambitions, which can stir up feelings of envy or inadequacy.

If social media becomes a source of stress, consider giving yourself permission to take a break or set boundaries. You don’t have to consume content that makes you feel worse. Follow accounts that inspire and uplift you, and remember: what people post online rarely tells the whole story.

The Horse Blinker Metaphor

Sometimes, the best way to navigate the new year is by putting on metaphorical horse blinkers – focusing on your own path and blocking out the noise. Your journey is unique, and it’s okay to tune out the world’s chatter if it doesn’t serve you.

When I feel overwhelmed by others’ expectations or achievements, I remind myself that I’m doing what I can with the cards I’ve been dealt. It’s not about keeping up with others; it’s about moving forward, however slowly, on my own terms.

The Gift of Grace

Above all, give yourself grace. Life isn’t a race, and there’s no rule that says you have to figure everything out by January 1st. Some years, the best goal is simply to be – to exist in your reality and keep going. And that’s okay.

If you’re exhausted heading into the new year, acknowledge that and prioritize rest. If you’re feeling hopeful, embrace that energy and channel it into something meaningful. Wherever you are, it’s valid.

My Goals for the New Year

Personally, I’ve found it helpful to focus on goals that feel empowering without overwhelming me. For example:

• Health: I’ve scheduled my appointments and tests, organized my medical files, and planned to advocate for financial assistance with medical bills.
• Joy: I want to carve out more time for activities I genuinely enjoy, even if they’re small.
• Planning: I’ve started a new budgeting system and bought a cute planner to help me feel organized and motivated.

These goals aren’t about changing who I am; they’re about working with what I have and finding ways to make life a little easier and more enjoyable.

Closing Thoughts

This past year brought unexpected challenges, including a significant injury that will carry into the new year. But it also taught me resilience and reminded me of my strength. As I step into 2025, I’m holding onto those lessons while giving myself permission to feel whatever I need to feel: hopeful, tired, or somewhere in between.

The start of a new year doesn’t have to mean chasing perfection or overhauling your life. It can be as simple as acknowledging your challenges, celebrating your wins, and setting goals that fit your unique reality. Whether you’re raising a middle finger to 2024 or cautiously optimistic about 2025, remember: you’re not alone.

So here’s to you – exactly as you are – stepping into a new year with grace, strength, and the resolve to keep going. That’s more than enough.

Sending soft hugs and warm thoughts to anyone who needs that extra love at this time of year, Rose.

About the author

Rose Lauren Hughes is a Bened Life Neurodiversity & Disability Specialist and Autistic adult. Find her on social media at @rose.llauren.