Autistic Family Life - Planning Trips
Going out to events like concerts or festivals, or even just the grocery store, can be hard for just one Autistic person due to sensory issues. However, when you’re a family of Autistic people with various sensory needs like we are, it can be super challenging. You may have competing sensory needs among you where one family member needs quiet and calm surroundings while another needs movement and noisy stimulation to get by.
Beyond the clashing sensory needs, kids have their own desires and are generally strong-willed about them. Add to that being a Disabled parent who has a hard time going out even without kids. Imagine the stress of a family of neurodivergent people going out together! It’s not easy, and it takes planning for sure. I’m here to attest that it can indeed be done. It just takes preparation and practice. Here are my best tips for planning trips for an Autistic family.
The Crucial First Step for a Successful Outing: Preparation
The main part of having successful outings is preparation. We have to prepare in-depth for every scenario. We must have tools, fidgets, snacks, drinks, and technology prepared. For example, when my kids were little, we would make sure that just in case there was no Wi-Fi, we had plenty of movies, games, and shows already downloaded on their devices. Their devices were always charged, and we had charging cables and battery packs for backup charging.
I always have my prescription glasses with me on outings. They are slightly tinted so that even inside, I can have some light protection to keep my eyes from hurting. I also have large noise-canceling Bluetooth headphones. These are immensely helpful because they block sound even when there is no music coming through. But if that’s not enough, I can listen to music to quell any sensory assault.
I also keep a water bottle around that I can refill or even a single plastic bottle. I always have water no matter what. I also have a reusable bottle that can keep my coffee warm so I don’t worry about mugs spilling over. It’s the little things we can do over time that make outings better and better each time.
We also have maps, pictures, and videos of the places we are going that we all look at ahead of time. We hope we are well-rested and fed by the time everything starts. I say “hope” because sleep is a hot commodity in my household of neurodivergent people. In any case, I encourage sleep for the kids on the way there either in the car or some other method of transportation. If I don’t have to drive, I also try to get a long nap in for myself.
Stims, Fidgets & Devices for Sensory Support
One thing I have learned about myself is that my body needs to move and fidget a lot. With that, I love stim toys or tools. I have dozens of them. Just for me, not for my kids. I bring my top two or three favorites and keep them in my purse or carry them. My kids have their own fidget toys, and we don’t really share.
Usually, my youngest has a ball of some sort as they love sports. The oldest and middle children are usually watching something of interest on their phones or tablets. When they were younger, I would keep things to write on, Rubik’s Cubes for something to play with their hands, or tablets with downloads.
When my kids were younger, they had large sound-muffling headphones. But now that they are teens, they also have noise-canceling earbuds or headphones for music or videos.
I always have water or snacks for the kids that fit in the large backpack that I call my purse. Having a large bag means I can carry everything the kids no longer want, along with the things they will eventually want, leaving my hands free to hold a kid in case they run off. We also keep our noise mufflers and sunglasses handy in our bags.
Talk About Where You’re Going in Advance
The one thing about planning that can’t be ignored is to have a talk and even some visuals of expectations before you go. It’s even great to have continuous talks in the weeks and days before going out or an event. For instance, what is the schedule of activities? Where are we going first? Where are we going next? When are we taking breaks? Eating?
This kind of information is important to kids, especially for kids with no reliable form of communication. They can’t ask questions like speaking kids, but they still want to know what’s going on. Having a visual schedule on an AAC device or a communication app on a tablet or phone, in picture cards, on a piece of paper, or in some other form is definitely necessary to cut down on meltdowns. It also keeps the adults from having to constantly reassure their kids vocally.
Sometimes Being Late Is Right on Time
Being well-rested and fed is the most important thing for our family. Yet, it is hard because we all have interoception problems. This means that we don’t always feel some of our internal signals like hunger, pain, sleepiness, etc. This is especially true for me, and as the parent, I have to make sure that I remember to get us all fed before we leave and if not, right before we arrive at the location.
Because of this, we tend to be late. However, that’s not that bad since it means we won’t be there as long, and this usually keeps us from having to leave early or take upset kids away crying. I get anxious about being late to events, but I constantly remind myself that it’s okay and possibly better than leaving early after causing a disruption.
Practice Makes Outings Easier
With preparation and planning, going out won’t be as intimidating. Practice is also important! We adults AND our kids will get better with each outing and learn as we go along.
Don’t stop going out or taking Disabled people out simply because it is hard. I did that for years and regret not having the opportunities to learn and practice. All people grow and improve over time, and that's no different for Disabled people of all ages. It gets easier, but only if you follow the three Ps: plan, prepare, and practice.
Recommended reading:
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